Another Journey of Recovery

My name is John and this is my journey of recovery. Firstly, let me tell my story of my compulsive gambling that began almost 20 years ago, in 1985.

When I first started gambling, it was in 1981, when I got introduced to an RSL Club. For about 4 years, I was a social gambler, visiting the Club with friends and family and sometimes by myself on a regular basis. Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice and there were times when we didn’t see the club for a month or so.

It was an outlet for entertainment, cheap meals and drinks and an outlet to get comfortable with friend and family, while socialising. Didn’t have any problems with it at the time. Any money that was gambled was carefully budgeted for.

I was running a business in 1984 and through most of 1985, which at the start ran well and prosperous. However, towards, the end of 1985 it all went sour. Within a week—everything changed. A couple of letters from some solicitors to let me know that the business I was contracting to went bust—and they took everyone else with them, including me. At the time, my house and over $100,000 with it.

That was devastating and it almost broke my marriage. Needless to say, it brought along many stresses—including criticism by others, self-criticism, facing bankruptcy myself, bills coming from everywhere and the family slowly falling apart. I took refuge—you guessed it—at the club.

Little by little, that became my escape from all of the above and it worsened by the day—becoming an obsession......an addiction I couldn’t stay away from. Every little thing that bothered me triggered the urges and I was off gambling.

That continued on until the bankruptcy in 1986. After that, we decided to give everything another try. I got myself a job, worked extra couple of part time jobs, my wife worked a full time job and within four years—we managed to pay off the debts and we bought a unit.

However, within those 4 years, my gambling didn’t stop. One of the part time jobs kept paying for that. Until it got worse and by 1992 we lost that unit too. Within the next 5 years, we managed to do the same again and collected enough money for a deposit to buy a house we live in now.

But, gambling didn’t stop there. I was fortunate both times that my wife kept the accounts and managed to save the money, while I gambled, little by little. 1997 saw us move into this house, which at first saw me being a little careful, but not fully. I was still gambling, but not on such a high scale. Until maybe 1999 when it became heavy again. I opened up 3 credit cards, borrowed money from people and gambled heavily.

Within a short period of time, it all caught up with me. I was cornered with bills, with people calling, with banks on my back and I had nowhere to run. That was a heavy toll on my wife, who at this stage still kept everything a secret from everyone.

After trying one GA meeting and telling my wife a part truth, we agreed to get me bailed out of the debt, by increasing our loan. I was good for about 3 months—and than it started again. Started of with $20 at a time, than it started to increase, until I opened the credit cards again and borrowed money from friends again. Same thing happened. I got cornered and things got worse and worse. I promised many things, but couldn’t hold it together for long.

We did the same again—borrowed more money to get me out of trouble. I went to 4 meetings and thought again that I was “cured”. It lasted 3 months again, until the same thing happened again. At this stage—I was given an ultimatum. Gambling or marriage. I gambled, hoping that I wouldn’t get caught. $40,000 later and I was at the stage of suicide. I really didn’t know how to handle this anymore—it was eating me alive. I’ll never forget the day—17th June 2002.

That was my last bet. After that I took a hose in my car and sped off. I really had no idea where I was going or what is going to happen. I drove aimlessly all day and finally found myself at a church, where we went sometimes with weddings, christenings and such. I walked and sat there, really not knowing what to think about. I cried.

After a couple of hours, the priest came along and tapped me on a shoulder—and asked me what was wrong. I thought to myself that, if there was one person in the world I could tell the truth to, it was him. So, I did ... the full truth. Every little bit of it. That was so relieving.

He walked away and came back a little later, asking me to stay a while longer. Shortly after that, my wife walked through the door. He called her at work and asked her to come in. When she sat down, he looked at me and asked me to tell her exactly what I said to him. Every word.

That was a shock for me, but I thought to myself—what have I got to lose. I’ve lost everything already. I decided that this was do or die—tell everything and finally get this recovery started for once. She listened, and while she listened, the priest comforted her.

When everything was done, we had a good talk together with the priest, and this is where I made up my mind that this is the end of my gambling. I was given this chance and I wasn’t going to let it go. I started working on recovery from that day on. Meetings every week, educating myself about the addiction, got my wife to come to meetings, I had counselling, and than had a family meeting not long after that and told the kids everything—and all together decided to make a go of it, with their support.

The first 6 months were the hardest of my life. The withdrawals were just too great and I worked hard putting all sorts of barriers in place to make sure I didn’t act on the urges. After the initial 6 months, things started to get better.

I have to say that now after 30 months of not gambling—I still get urges sometimes, but I’m much more aware of the facts, to be able to divert my mind from them. The secret for me was ... being honest with my family, my friends and everyone that wanted to know about my past, not bailing myself out anymore but rather taking responsibility for my debts, meetings every week (which I’m still attending), educating myself about the addiction, opening and maintaining a support group on the net, getting myself involved with GIS, completing two counselling courses... and most importantly ... building a support network to help me through.

Today, the debts are almost paid off, we are still living in our house, the marriage is getting better by the day and I haven’t lost anything with my children. We are living a comfortable life and are constantly working on communication, honesty and integrity with our lives.

I know that there isn’t a cure out there for this disease, but I also know now that by staying aware, being involved in helping others to achieve the same, creating awareness among others that are not yet in the midst of the addiction, staying true to myself and others—will help very much in keeping this monster at bay ... this cancer in remission.

So, for anyone that is not sure about the future after gambling ... take it from me—THERE IS.

Thanks to another GIS member willing to share his story for the benefit of others.

Please let us know whether the information on this page was useful.

 Not Helpful  1   2   3   4   5  Very Helpful

Comments:

Disclaimer - The opinions expressed in this website are not necessarily those held by the Gambling Impact Society (NSW) Inc. No responsibility will be accepted for anything that may occur as a result of anyone relying on the information and opinions contained in the website.