The Good (myself), The Bad (the people I’ve hurt) & The Ugly (poker machines)

Hi, my name is David and I have decided to write this page in the hope that it may be of some help to problem gamblers and the people directly affected by them. Also it is my hope that I may bring an understanding to those people who have not felt the affect of gambling or an addiction and may come to see how serious the problem can become.

If you had asked me a few years ago what I thought of people with addictions I would of said they are weak and they deserve what they get, after all no one forces them to do it. How true this is, but in all seriousness it's a pretty weak attitude and who am I to judge these people without having any understanding of their problem. One thing that I have learnt through my experience is that by judging others I am really only judging myself. In other words I am putting my own expectations on them.

I'm not going to give you the long winded sorrow story of my life, I just want to show you how destructive gambling can be and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. My only hope is that you spend a few minutes in reading this story and to always keep an open mind. I don't want to write every individual experience I have had because of my gambling, as my story would be too long and not have the desired impact that I hope to get. So the following are some of my experiences over the past seven years.

I am 35 years old and started gambling about 15 years ago. At first gambling wasn't a problem for me, I suppose I was just like every body else and just gambled to be social and for fun. Gambling became a serious problem for me about 7 years ago. I suppose gambling was always a problem for me now I look back, but it was at this stage when gambling became a financial and mental burden on my life.

I used to play golf on Saturdays with my friends and after the round we would always stay to have a drink and play the pokies. I always looked forward to this day as I really enjoyed playing golf and having the companionship with my friends. But after a while I stopped looking forward to playing the golf and became more focused on playing the pokies. I couldn't wait until we finished the round so I could get into the club to start playing the pokies. I would sit at the table with my friends wishing they would hurry up and finish their drinks and go home just so I could go and have a hit on the pokies. This was the beginning of my great obsession with poker machines.

About one year ago I came home from work to find that my wife and kids where no longer there. She had had enough of my lying and manipulation and just packed up and left. I suppose she should have left a long time ago but love can be a very strong thing, something I now understand.

My gambling caused me to do a lot of things that I am not really proud of. I have lied, manipulated, borrowed and stolen. At one stage I can remember I had seven different credit cards and two personal loans and my debt was escalating out of control along with my life.

The amount of money that I have wasted through poker machines is not really relevant; it is the fact that I let something take over my life to the extreme that it caused myself harm and also to the people that I loved. It could have just as easily been my job, a hobby or something else. Obviously these things may not of cost me as much money, but these things can still destroy an individual and the people that you love if it becomes obsessive.

Today I am rebuilding my life, a better life. My wife and I are still separated but we love each other to death and both know that in the near future we will be back together as a family again. It's been a long hard slog for both of us and we have both had to do a lot of soul searching. It took this experience in my life to make me realise what a wonderful wife I had and the two best boys that anyone could ask for. They make me complete.

Finally in finishing, if you have a gambling problem there is plenty of help out there you only have to ask. It is difficult and it does put a bit of a dent in the old pride, but you can't die from asking for help so it can't be all that bad. To those of you who don't have a gambling problem please, just be aware of what can happen and don't let your guard down.

Sincerely

David

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