Thank goodness for Internet Support Groups

My name is L.H. and I am coming up to 19 months of not gambling, after being obsessed and possessed by my need to gamble for near on 9 years.

What began as a social outlet, quickly and unobtrusively became such an urgent need that I felt I had to fulfill, irregardless of the consequences, unfortunately for too long I pretended there were and never would be any consequences that I could not deal with or overcome.

Eventually, the consequences, the truth of what had to be faced and dealt with, whether I wanted to face them or not, they could no longer be avoided.

But what now? Where do I turn? Who can or is willing to help me? Is there anyone who can or willing to understand?

The people I was accountable to had no understanding of what I was going through. They could not relate to the turmoil and struggle I was going through. To them it was an easy decision – Just Stop – no discussion, other than emotive ones. In desperation one day I sat in front of my computer, typed the words “gambling problem”, into the search engine, with the intent of perhaps being able to find a way to open a forum for others going through what I was going through at this time.

I felt so isolated, totally alone and such a failure. I felt my life was not worth living. I never imagined that there would be any sort of positive help available on line.

What greeted me though absolutely stunned me..........so much information and so many online support groups for compulsive gamblers.

I read like a fiend and visited every support group I came across, to find myself in awe of what I was reading.

At times it would feel like someone else was living my life – feeling the way I felt, experiencing the things I was experiencing, doing the things I was doing, thinking my thoughts.

I read on these sites for a long time, gradually narrowing them down to 3 or 4 that I felt comfortable with, each of them with an “atmosphere”, of their own, offering advice and support that “felt” right to me.

What I discovered gradually, was a network of people who supported each other through the bad days, when urges were strong or when life was handing out a curve ball, cheered and celebrated any and all successes, asked after members who had not posted for a while.

Eventually I had the courage to join a few of these groups, but it still took me a while to participate actively on the boards.

After my initial introductory posts, I was amazed to find myself feeling overcome with emotion at the welcoming, compassionate and understanding responses I received.

These unseen, unknown people, really knew and understood me, the gambling side of me and what I was going through.

I really was not alone anymore in trying to come to terms with this problem and the way it had affected nearly every area of my life. Once I became used to the format of how these forums operated, I found it very comforting to know that because these forums have world wide memberships, I could at any given time – day or night 24/7 - either post, read or even put out an “SOS” so to speak and someone from these support groups would be there.

Soon I found I had the confidence to reach out to others, especially new people just signing up to the boards, coming there feeling as frightened, lost and desperate as I did when I first visited these sites.

As time passed and I felt like I was gaining some control of my life again, a struggle, with many ups and downs, I was given the opportunity to start my own board.

With very little thought, but much enthusiasm I accepted the offer – really it was just the push I needed – and Getting Past Gambling came into being. This now allowed me to incorporate the things that I “believe” in, which are definitely not mainstream and to my delight it has drawn many who are of similar mind.

Through the board, I try to provide information about how to get help, where this help is available and hopefully encourage people to see that they can’t do it alone.

By sharing our experiences, we not only help ourselves, but also those that are just reading the boards, those that are still hesitant to participate.

When people first come to these forums, they are frightened, confused, and lonely and all too often on the verge of suicide – which can be very frightening to them and to the people they reach out to.

But once reassured that they are in a safe place talking to others who have been where they are right now, it gives them hope that there is possibly a way out of the emotional quagmire they find themselves in. None of us profess to be professional counsellors; in fact it is made very clear that we are just people with a gambling problem trying to help others walking the same path.

Usually though, after some encouragement, counseling or meetings are sought out, it just takes time to feel strong enough to be able to do this.

The anonymity of online support boards, is also very comforting. Here you can pour out your heart, as it is much less threatening too many, than having to be in a room full of strangers.

All in all, whether people actively participate on these forums or just quietly read, there is a lot to be gained through them. The number one thing is knowing that there are other people, all over the world, from all walks of life, going through exactly the same things you are. You are NOT alone.

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