The Urge To Gamble

Sometimes no matter how much support you have sought, the urge to gamble may still be present and despite all your good intentions that urge can be so overwhelming that it seems impossible to take control of it. Some of the techniques used in treating problem gambling are aimed at specifically helping you get over this experience and move on to other actions.

Strategies around the thinking process involved in gambling are what we call “cognitive therapy” cognitive meaning our “thinking”. The Therapy is therefore aimed at helping us deal with the actual gambling thoughts and replacing them with more helpful thoughts, which will reduce the urge to gamble and therefore take away the power of those thoughts and the consequent actions that come from them.

When we look at the urge to gamble, we discover that it really is only a thought and that this thought can be challenged and replaced with other thoughts. Moreover, the more practice you have at challenging your thoughts about gambling, the easier it gets to deal with the urge. The urge then returns less and less often and with less strength and you become more and more skilled at dealing with it.

Sometimes people report withdrawal symptoms when they stop gambling. However, these people are usually gambling as a means of avoiding uncomfortable feelings such as stress, anxiety, depression. When they stop gambling, they have to face these feelings and associate them with withdrawal symptoms, when in fact they are actually the real feelings they have been trying to avoid.

The mistaken belief that they are withdrawal symptoms can lead to thoughts of gambling again and so the cycle commences. By recognising what these feelings really are, you can use techniques and counselling to help you deal with them instead of trying to anaesthetise them or run away from them. Working through the feelings can therefore be part of your recovery and ultimately moving to a place where you may no longer need to hide from them.

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What If I Lapse ...?

Sometimes when people with gambling problems lapse, they think “there's no hope for me. I’m a hopeless case”. They will then drop out of treatment and return to their pre-treatment gambling level.

If you lapse, it is important to see it in the context of your recovery and use your cognitive (thinking) skills so that you don’t give up altogether. The focus here is on re-committing yourself to treatment and recovery and learning from the lapse so as to avoid pitfalls again. Lapses are not an excuse to start gambling again, but they can be a source of learning what were the risks you could have avoided and how might you deal with them if you come up against then again in the future.

You can restructure your thinking about a lapse by saying things like:

I won’t stop trying because of one failure– that sort of thinking made me a problem gambler in the first place.

I am learning new skills—if I practice them more, I can beat this problem.

Was this a high risk situation that I hadn’t prepared for/ How can I make sure that doesn’t happen again? What can I do if the same circumstances arise again?

What would I say to someone else who was in that same situation?

Re-focus on challenging irrational gambling thoughts and your excuses to gamble.

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Guarding Against The Urges

Urges do not usually just enter our minds suddenly and spontaneously. There may be a number of factors which act alone or in combination to bring on thoughts about an urge to gamble which can lead to a lapse. To be able to anticipate and overcome lapses it is important to:

Be aware of the things that led you to gamble.

Understand the series of seemingly irrelevant decisions that lead you to being exposed to gambling opportunities (high risk situations) eg. going home early from work, getting changed and feeling like a beer, then just slipping down the hotel to see if a friend was there.

Be familiar with the steps that you need to take to avoid or overcome damage.

Some people find that common factors leading to a lapse include:

Unpleasant moods or emotions

feeling depressed, unhappy or feeling low;

feeling frustrated in reaching their goals;

feeling resentment at missing out on recognition, praise or promotion for work completed;

feeling bored;

worrying or feeling anxious;

feeling rejected by others,

feeling low self-esteem and self –confidence;

feeling worthless;

feeling impatient;

feeling overconfident.

Conflicts with other people (family, friends, employers etc)

Arguments over finances e.g. lack of money to buy things;

loss of affection between partners, family members, friends;

criticism of not trying hard enough , not doing enough;

being unreliable;

not getting enough attention;

external conflicts e.g. at work spilling over into conflicts with family/friends;

personality clashes with boss/colleagues/others.

Peer and social pressure

Mixing with people who are active gamblers;

feeling that acquaintances will be critical if you refuse to gamble;

feeling afraid of becoming socially isolated.

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Avoiding accidental exposure to high risk situations

Most people usually don’t knowingly place themselves in High Risk situations. Often a chain of apparently innocent or irrelevant events, when put together will result in a lapse. Realistically you are setting yourself up for a lapse. Are any of these thoughts familiar?:

I won’t gamble I’ll just go to the club for a few drinks;

I'll just go to the TAB to test out my control. I’m confident I can succeed;

I haven’t had this urge for days now, so there’s no problem in carrying all that cash;

I've got a few hours to kill, I’ll just drop into the club/pub/TAB to watch how others are going;

There's no need to rush home, Ill drop into the club/pub/ TAB to unwind;

I want to listen to the race broad-cast to see how a horse I know ran its race. I’m only interested in its performance;

My partner/friend/family are arguing, I’ll just put a few dollars in to help me relax.

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Hints on avoiding unintended exposure to risk

Be realistic and honest with yourself - there is little point in persuading yourself that you can control a situation when you may be setting yourself up for a lapse. Is you motivation declining? If so then re-motivate yourself by considering the advantages and disadvantages of gambling. Write your situation/feelings /thoughts down and ask yourself- How do these thoughts help me? If you need to, try challenging your gambling thoughts with more realistic helpful thoughts.

Learn a relaxation technique and practice it regularly it can boost your ability to cope.

Consider a problem-solving exercise to identify other ways you may manage the situation.

If you do lapse, no matter how small the bet—tell someone. This is an important step in building trust and to prevent you from chasing your loss to avoid getting caught. It can also help your anxiety or tension so that you can re-start your recovery work.

(Material sourced, and amended from a handout from the Illawarra Community Health- Problem Gambling Facilitators Manual)

Lorraine.

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